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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
PART 2
The day that I first met Aurora is still etched in my mind as if it was yesterday. I was sitting on the stairs of Cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore working on my novel’s epilogue when a bright white light dazzled my eyes, blinding me completely with its glare. As I tried to locate its source, my eyes fell on the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life. I am not exaggerating when I say this, she seemed God-sent to me, purely angelic. My notepad fell from my hands.
I didn’t realize I was gaping at her until she walked to me and said “Am really sorry about the reflection. It was from the mirror on my handbag. I saw that it distracted you. I know this because I was watching you deeply immersed writing something. The reason you caught my eye is I had also seen you sitting and writing in your notepad on The Cliffs of Moher in Ireland. I had watched you for a really long time wondering how someone could be scribbling at this beautiful place instead of enjoying the breathtaking views.” Saying that she laughed on her own joke. While doing so, she placed her palm on her chest and I quickly checked if she had any engagement ring on her hand. To my utter relief, there was none.
I was so engrossed in watching her lips move that I barely heard what she said. When she narrated the Ireland incident, I cursed myself for not having noticed her back then. She was a travel enthusiast by hobby and an editor in a travel magazine by profession. We shared the same burning passion to prove ourselves, both keen to move ahead in this world’s rat race. It was no wonder that we connected almost instantly.
We got married in a few years, after I was done with college. I didn’t even have a job back then, she was the bread winner for our family. She was the wiser spouse. Maman and Papa were upset and kept repeating that I was making a blunder by getting married instead of focusing on a career or my masterpiece. We kept our distance from them post wedding. I knew things would fall into place if I had Aurora by my side. Days passed into months and months into 3 years. I still hadn’t completed my novel. Aurora was growing restless, she kept checking on my novel’s progress. At times she demanded to read the draft. There were times she doubted if I were writing at all or just whiling my time away. How could I tell her that all I did was tear pages, dissatisfied with my work. Every time I finished a story, I had a feeling it wasn’t my best work and I could do so much better. I started the story all over again. I spent a lot of time brainstorming ideas. I put too much effort in imagining the complete story in my head. As a result, I would be seated at the same place for hours and sometimes days at end, simply conceptualizing, pondering. Aurora did a lot of travelling those days and worked overtime to keep the house afloat. She would come back from tours to find a completely messed up house. She would swear under her breath, start cleaning immediately, ignore me for some time and then a one-sided fight would ensue. One sided because I didn’t take part in it at all. I would shut myself from her allegations and accusations. She would scream, shout, cry and in the end hug me tight. Looking back, I often wondered what made her stay. She could have easily walked out on me and I wouldn’t even have noticed or protested. I was completely lost inside the abyss of my world of fiction.
Exactly 3.5 years into our marriage, something happened that shook us up to the cores. Looking back, I can safely say that the day is etched on to my memory for ever. Aurora entered the room ashen-faced. I instantly knew something was wrong. For quite sometime she stood like a statue, perilously quiet. She then sat on the chair with a thud, covered her face with her hands and started wailing. I had never before seen Aurora this way. I sat down near her, patting her back, not knowing what to do. With each passing minute, the silence was weighing down heavily on me. Was she leaving me or did she lose her job, the questions were piling up inside my head. She broke the silence after a long time uttering a single word “Pregnant”.
We would have been happy if we were a normal couple. But we both knew something had to be done about the situation. After all, we weren’t the usual baby rearing family. But we even tried imagining ourselves in that light. I could get a desk job, shelve my writing for a few years, Aurora could take a break and look after the baby. Hypothetically, it all seemed fine but practically we both knew I couldn’t be trusted in matters of finance. I just wouldn’t be able to dedicate my heart and soul to our family if I were to stop writing.
As the D day drew nearer, our gynecologist pressurized us to decide about the baby’s future. Abortion wasn’t an option so we decided we were going to give the baby up for adoption. That way at least the baby could be brought up in a loving and caring environment in a well-established family. I even contemplated Aurora being a single parent. However, I couldn’t imagine myself being a father. Until the day I achieved my dream, I couldn’t give my 100% to the role of parenting. I know by telling you all of this, it may seem as if I never wanted to have you in my life but there’s a reason am narrating everything in detail. Please do not be overwhelmed and try to read with an open heart.
Somehow my parents caught a wind of this and landed at our doorsteps. They coaxed, cajoled us for a long time. When we couldn’t fight them anymore and they couldn’t reason with us any longer, a common ground was reached. It was decided that they would help in the baby’s upbringing until we were financially stable. We agreed half-heartedly. That way at least we could see our baby whenever we wanted.
I felt disheartened that when the time came, I wasn’t a reliable partner to my wife. Was I really worthy of her love, company and support? I kept questioning myself. Meanwhile, my creativity was in complete shutdown mode. I tried my best to explain it to her why I couldn’t be a daddy to our baby but words failed me. Somehow Aurora understood my silence and often said she was thankful just to have me in her life. Those days I started visiting church, prayed to God for the baby’s good health and Aurora’s healthy pregnancy. I wanted everything to go smoothly. I was nervous as the day of delivery approached nearer.
On a routine checkup, after an ultra sound, the doctor informed us tenderly that our baby was missing an arm and a leg. We were at a loss of words. I felt my insides churn, simmer. We asked him if he was sure of it. He calmly nodded his head and proceeded to explain otherwise the baby was just fine. I felt like my head was swirling around. I felt the earth under my legs would give away. Our baby wouldn’t have two limbs so vital for survival, the limbs which we often took for granted, the limbs which were imperative for a typical life. How would you carry out mundane day to day activities without a hand and a leg? How could we give you up after knowing this? That very instant we knew we couldn’t handover our baby to our parents. Our baby would need us and we would be there for him through thick and thin, yes it was a him.
I still remember the day you were born, Dante. Me and Aurora were shivering out of restlessness. We didn’t know what parenting entailed. All we knew was we had to be more than normal parents to you and had to put in extra efforts towards providing you a normal life. You were born with a right leg and a left hand. The socket of your left leg was like an empty barrel, the place where your right hand should have been was a smooth fleshy skin. Even though this shortcoming of yours stood out in the initial days, as years progressed you became an ordinary baby to us. You dragged yourself all over the house with one leg, pulled off a lot of naughtiness with just one hand.
One could often hear Aurora shouting “No Dante, don’t touch that, don’t do this.” No wonder your first words weren’t Maman or Papa but No Dante!
Around the time you were one, both me and Aurora had bagged desk jobs which we did in shifts. We made sure one of us was always home with you. Needless to say, you were spoilt by your grandparents’ love.
With growing age, you started questioning your disability. You came home heartbroken every time we visited a children’s park. When you watched other children run around and climb on rides, you examined your missing limbs. We tried our best as parents to safeguard you from such encounters and cheer you up. However, there were days when you screamed your lungs out and demanded for another hand and leg. If we were to ask why you were screaming, your answer was so that God could hear you! For a 4-year-old, you were quiet smart.
We decided to home school you with Maman and Papa until the time you were comfortable with yourself. With Papa’s inclination towards the world of art and Maman’s proclivity to books, you were drenched with knowledge in no time. In just 3 years, your wisdom had grown by leaps and bounds. You were a bright young kid. We were so proud of you. Contrary to my own imagination and understanding of self, I had become a family person and an okayish dad.
One night at the dinner table, sometime around when you were 8, you questioned me innocently if I had given up my dream. I knew those were Maman’s words put in your mouth. She had taken you to the Louvre museum that day, narrated about my life’s goal, obsession with Mona Lisa, art, my appetite for books. I hesitated briefly and assured you I was working towards it. You didn’t seem convinced. That night I asked Aurora if I could ever succeed in my dream. As always she infused positivity in me and gave me the confidence that if I put my heart and soul into it, no one could stop me from achieving what I wanted. I was determined to resume working on my incomplete novel as soon as possible.
((To be continued……….))
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Wonderfully written….eager to read part 3 ….keep writing ✍️
Just posted third part. Thank you very much for the response Aunty 🙂
Hats off to the wife !!
🙂 🙂
Will Dante create the real Masterpiece???
Lets find out in the last part 🙂
It’s Addictive…eagerly waiting for part3😊
Thanks Dipti 🙂
Was eagerly waiting for the post. Now waiting for part 3.
Thank you so much.